She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
