I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
