hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
