i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
