I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
