I must be too annoying 4 u.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
