Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
