she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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