Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
