It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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