We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize