I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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