I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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