I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
