I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
