rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
