the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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