friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
