Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
