If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
