the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
