I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize