If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
