The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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