oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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