i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
