he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
