thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
In America we eat man semen.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
