Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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