I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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