Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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