Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
