Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
