Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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