Ambien. No doubt about it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
