Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
