God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
