What did we do last night that was yellow?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
