I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
