do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Randomize
