yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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