In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize