She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
