Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
