Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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