I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
