i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
