Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
