Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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