After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize