well you can't waste a boner
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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