I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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