On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize