I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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