so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
