I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
