hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
