Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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