I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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