If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
