I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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