bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize