We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
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