HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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