Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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