I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
