the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
