plz talk dirty to me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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