I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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