hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize