That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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