at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
