Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Couch. On fire.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
