facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
