I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
