girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
